Psychiatrist second visit – more severe

I have rested at home for one week without doing anything besides listening music and research on my anxiety. Today, around 11am, I went to see Dr. Vincent again.

He read my notes on my phone, the notes are little thoughts that I have:

Feel like want to escape, when escaped feel free – during weekend or skip class – may be that means I don’t have to care what they think of me
Feel underdressed when seeing others Feel like a kid
Housemate freely express
One friend accompanied me, keep sweating when walking and speak only few words, he say I don’t seem to have social anxiety.
Came for wed class but went home in the afternoon No friends to talk to, no info, no idea how to get a round, got idea about assignment
Have big ambition, join debate, organize talk etc, but feel like extro better
Procrastinate to reply email or pick up with phone
Didn’t go for two jobs
Happy I have 4 days off
Worry about what to wear
I can give public speaking with script during spm prize, didn’t give eye contact
Body image – gym, hairstyle
Use humor? Different outlook in life
Why social anxiety now, last time no
Dress, socialize, body image better
Result 12as, 3.75cgpa
Childhood hide behind teacher Feeling like a kid
Cold hands – church fellowship or nervous
Game developer job
USM – ai
2years at home, didn’t even go downstairs to buy food
No exercise
Maybe I don’t need psychiatrist but psychologist , no need drugs because maybe its because I lack material things
No friends everything seems harder 
I don’t really talk to church mate 
Feel like wanting to be better than everyone to feel good 
Maybe I’m spoilt 
Mum do housework – wash floor, clothes
Suicide usm 
Friends sis NTU birthday prank many friends happy and fun video at Facebook – feel depressed 
Worship leader 
Listen music whole week – hope can go concert
Read pastor book, moodgym, lots of anxiety website, fb friend
Last Sunday already reluctant to go back hostel
When get closer to friend, scare loose it, must be perfect – friend – reach this stage duno how to advance – phone to ask what happen 
Mc write shaun 
Should I see psychologist instead 
12a 3.75 see friends become leaders – dissapointed

He says what is “extro”, I replied extrovert, he said extrovert not necessary better. He also saw “USM suicide”, he asks if I have suicide tendency, I said yes.

He asked how was my moodgym, I replied that I did until the “unwarped” section and I really liked the list of biased thinking. He seems delighted. He also asked me to print out the moodgym workbook next time I visit.

I said I wanted to quit UNITEN, he says I have to treat my health first, and take 2 weeks to decide. He says I tend to sometimes be impulsive, and sometimes be too analytical and indecisive, must strive a balance. He asks me is there really nothing good about UNITEN?

He says I have to work on my anxiety by trying things? I says I can go Saturday fellowship and Sunday worship, he seems delighted again and says yes.

Doctor says he will have to recalibrate my medicine dosage. He says instead of taking 1/4 pill per day, I have to take 1/2. I noticed he also added solian, a new medicine.

Doctor says I don’t have expression on my face and asks me to do happy, angry, and scared face, I cannot do it. I said I can do it at home but not with people. He says I also don’t have eye contact.

He also taught me deep breath relaxation technique, breathe in using nose and breath out using mouth, do for 10 to 15 times.

I asks him how many session will be needed to treat my social anxiety, he says maybe 6 months or a year.

On the way back, I facebook messaged Yin Mun saying doctor says I have no expression, she agreed and said I only seem normal when with Kar Yee and seem scared with others. I am surprised that people knew this and never tell me, I should express my emotion more.

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